Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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