Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
false alarm, still single
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
