That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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