Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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