Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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