i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
id be glad to
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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