Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
