Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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