Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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