Me too!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
