just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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