I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
