I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize