When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you had me at cake vodka
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
