half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize