Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
