Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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