Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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