office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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