I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
