playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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