It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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