i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
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I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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