Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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