I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
