you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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