Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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