My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
