So drunk its hurt
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh god it's open bar.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
