Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
