Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
