THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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