Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
