I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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