did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
