I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
