first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
one might say we're banned from that church
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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