weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
