I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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