shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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