We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
