She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
