Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
