do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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