I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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