K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You were trust falling into bushes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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