Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
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Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize