my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
