My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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