so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
