I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
