i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
