the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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