i think my tv is drunk
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
