Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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