You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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