But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
