I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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