where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
