Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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