If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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