HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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